Rock of Ages Movie Review

We don’t want to brag or anything, but my high school and school years were spent in a time period known as” the 80’s”, where AquaNet and mullets were plentiful, and the qualifications music by bands like Journey, Guns N Carnations, and my personal favorite, Def Leppard, was not merely great, it was WORLD FAMOUS. Imagine then how my little “hair metal” adoring heart skipped a whip when I saw the previews for ‘Rock of Ages’!

THE GOOD: Structured on a Broadway musical technology and set on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip, ‘Rock of Ages’ is the history of two young ordinary star wannabees: Sherrie (Julianne Hough) and Drew (Diego Boneta), who fall in and out of love at the infamous and practically broke Bourbon Area, the place that offered Rock God Stacee Jaxx (played by Tom Cruise) his start. As supervisor of the Bourbon Space, Dennis (Alec Baldwin) desires that an appearance by Stacee Jaxx will switch things around. And to add a villain to the mix, we have the Mayor’s uptight and pious wife, Patricia (played by Catherine Zeta-Jones) who vows to clean up up the Strip and destroy any and all fun that happens there. 123movies

The story isn’t deep and challenging by any means, and it is important to grasp the fact that because this is a musical, the complete production has an extremely pathetic feeling to it that you have to be completely willing to take hold of. Also, it probably helps enormously to become a huge supporter of 80’s music—otherwise will be certainly a good chance you will hate it from the get go. To me, I was ready to enjoy both corniness AND the music, and then for the first 25 minutes or so, I DO. I was absolutely having a blast, despite being subjected to seeing Ben Cruise’s bare backside in an opening scene-which I actually realize for some could be the highlight of their Weekend night. 

But then things went downhill at an astonishing rate.

UNHEALTHY: Thus, here’s where the movie lost its appeal for me personally: given that the subject matter dealt specifically with the life of any heavy metal rock god, 2 weeks. no-brainer that “groupie activity” will be alluded to, and possibly even portrayed to many degree—-but when you take off of a PG-13 movie feeling like there isn’t enough side sanitizer on this world to wash out your eyes, perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to reevaluate its rating system. We will not relive the horror than it by writing details along, but be enough it to say that I am a 43 year old woman with 20 years of marital life to my name, and there were occasions in this film that still helped me want to crawl under my seats. Innuendo is one thing, but detailed activity gone above and beyond what I was prepared for, given the rating. Certainly, rock stars have A LOT of—-uh, FANS. All of us get it. We now understand SPECIFICALLY how they spend their free time. Thank you, and ewwww.

How this movie injure up with a “less than R” rating completely boggles your head. Clearly the MPAA must reconsider it is criteria. Of course, if I haven’t been clear, this movie is CERTAINLY NOT okay for kids—and by kids, I mean anyone you wouldn’t want to make clear the dangers of social diseases to.

THE UGLY: When you’ve read this far, and have considered to yourself “This female is actually uptight/that kind of stuff doesn’t trouble me/I’d appreciate to see Tom Cruise’s rear end”, I won’t judge you. But be aware that as well as the previously mentioned “ick factor” there is another subject to cope with—-and that would be Russell Brand’s wig.

At least, We THINK it was a wig.

Oh Please. Permit it be a hairpiece.

In the event the film had just been nothing but a cheesy 80’s rock musical technology, it would have recently been a fun and sentimental trip back in time to my youth. We will admit to sensing almost euphoric when there was a musical amount, with some clear exclusions. And again, I have always been forced to praise Ben Cruise for another fantastic performance—no matter how much I might want to beat my head against a wall when We hear his name, there is denying that he is talent personified. If anyone can play a crazy egomaniac, Tom is your man, and he is in fact, a great vocalist as well.

Eventually however, if the 80’s are calling you, just download some Def Leppard on your ipod and stay in for the evening. You’ll still get the great music, and you won’t need any hand sanitizer.

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